Keir Starmer has suspended seven rebel Labour MPs, including top Corbynistas John McDonnell and Rebecca Long-Bailey, for backing an SNP amendment to scrap the two-child benefit cap. It was “a brutal demonstration of his power”, says the BBC’s Chris Mason, and a clear signal that the government won’t stand for “those on its own side picking a fight with it”. The Crown Estate’s profits more than doubled to a record £1.1bn last year, largely thanks to investments in offshore wind farms. The annual Royal Household accounts also revealed plans to convert the climate-conscious King’s two state Bentleys to run on biofuel, and to fit solar panels to Windsor Castle. Tom Daley and other athletes have been stress-testing the cardboard “anti-sex” beds in the Olympic village in Paris. The inventor of the custom cots insists they can take up to three people, so “will cope with anything the athletes want to do with themselves or their friends”.

Trump could be less dangerous than we imagine

Ardent Never Trumpers like me need to admit an uncomfortable truth, says Eliot Cohen in The Atlantic: on foreign policy, a second Donald Trump term probably won’t be the “riot of alliance-shattering isolationism” and “catastrophically stupid diplomacy” we’ve come to expect. Take the Republican manifesto. With shout-outs to all the usual themes – reinforcing alliances, support for Israel, and so on – it’s pure boilerplate. On protectionist tariffs, the containment of China and the cementing of relationships in the Persian Gulf, Trump would more or less continue the policies of the Biden administration, which were themselves largely a continuation of the previous administration. We shouldn’t really be surprised: one of the “deeper truths” about American foreign policy is that “there is more continuity to it than rupture”.

The biggest potential problem is Ukraine, given Trump’s apparent eagerness for an immediate ceasefire. But it’s worth remembering that a $60bn aid package to Kyiv was passed with the support of a MAGA House speaker, Mike Johnson, and the acquiescence of Trump himself. Again, there’s not that much between his position and that of the Biden administration. Even vice presidential nominee JD Vance, who has been particularly callous about Ukraine’s fate, has conceded that it wouldn’t be in America’s interest to let Russia occupy the country. There is also no sign, “yet”, that Trump would exit Nato. What we do know is that he’d put more pressure on European states to increase their defence spending – merely the prospect of his return “seems to have had some good effects in that direction”. For all the scaremongering, things “may be less bad than they seem”.

When it comes to banging on, says William Hague in The Times, Joe Biden has “no equal”. I remember when I was foreign secretary and he came to visit David Cameron in No 10. “I’ve put six topics on the agenda for the meeting,” Cameron told me. “That’s a touch optimistic, prime minister,” I said. “In an hour you’ll be lucky to get through one.” “Oh, come on,” said the PM. “He can’t be that talkative.” He was. Cameron spoke for a couple of minutes about the situation in Afghanistan. “The vice president then replied for the next 58 minutes.”

Brazilian sharks are testing positive for cocaine, says The Daily Telegraph. When gak geeks examined 13 sharpnose sharks off the coast of Rio de Janeiro, every one of them contained traces of the narcotic, and at levels 100 times higher than previously found in aquatic creatures. It is not clear how the sharks ingested so much of the Brazilian marching powder, but working theories include drainage spillover from illicit drug labs, the excrement of heavy drug users, or even “bales of cocaine that were lost or dumped overboard by drug smugglers”.

You don’t have to spend money to have fun

Economists say one reason inflation isn’t coming down is people going to Taylor Swift concerts, says Giles Coren in The Times. What with the ticket, and the hotel, and all the merchandise you “moronically buy”, the average spend per person is £850. That sounds like a lot of money to stand in the middle of 100,000 screaming kids, watching an “American billionaire dressed as a sort of nightmare toddler/pole dancer” sing songs about her exes. But this is “treatonomics”, apparently – where people prioritise spending on fun things and cut back elsewhere instead. I don’t understand this at all. “Because I never buy anything. Never have. Never do. Never will.”

I don’t go to gigs, or the theatre, or the cinema. I don’t buy clothes, and whenever I see shoes I like, I remember that life is too short to wait for the “feckless youths” working at the shop to see if they have them in a size 9, so I leave. That’s my “treat”: leaving. I do have season tickets for Queens Park Rangers, but “nobody could possibly describe going to QPR as ‘fun’”. I live in a house I bought 22 years ago. It’s a bit small, but it doesn’t leak so “I plan to die in it”. And whenever I go to a book shop I get “all woozy with option paralysis”, then go home and read Great Expectations again. None of this is because I am mean or poor – “I have wedge coming out of my ears”. I just don’t equate “fun” with anything money can buy. Sorry, Taylor, but there’s more to life than “endless commercial exchange”.

There’s no need to wait 30 minutes after eating to go for a swim, says AP. Doctors say the old myth that people might drown because blood would be diverted to their full stomachs and away from their muscles is just bunk. Those planning to put in some serious laps might want to digest a little to avoid cramps, as you would before a run. But otherwise, if you fancy a splash around after lunch, dive in.

Climate change is making our days longer, says The Washington Post. As the polar ice caps melt in Greenland and Antarctica, hundreds of billions of tons of water are moving from the poles towards the equator. This effectively changes the shape of Earth itself – making it more oblate, or fatter – causing the planet to rotate at a slightly slower speed. The effect is absolutely tiny: just a millisecond or so per century. But scientists say that could still be enough to throw off navigation systems and even affect calculations for satellite launches.

It’s the world’s longest rowing boat – the Stampfli Express – a 24-seater which took part in the Paris 2024 Olympic torch relay on Sunday. The 131-foot craft took 23 oarsmen and a torch-bearer down a stretch of the River Marne, just east of Paris. “It will not be part of the official competition”, the BBC helpfully points out, as “rowers are only allowed to compete alone or in teams of two, four or eight”. Cheers Auntie.