Wes Streeting will today unveil plans for digital “patient passports”, allowing NHS patients to access all their medical records online in one place. The scheme, which will also give GPs, hospitals and ambulance staff rapid access to key health data, is part of the government’s 10-year plan to upgrade the health service from “analogue to digital”. The King was heckled by a member of the Australian senate at Parliament House in Canberra this morning. Indigenous rights campaigner Lidia Thorpe shouted: “Give us what you stole from us… This is not your land. You are not my king.” Charles appeared to take no notice, and was later said to have been “unruffled” by the outburst. The men’s World Conker Champion David Jakins has been sensationally cleared of cheating after a scandal that engulfed the usually good-natured sport. The 82-year-old was found to be carrying a steel chestnut in his pocket at the championships last week, but a thorough investigation by organisers concluded that there is “no evidence” the replica was used in open competition.

Don’t worry, Kamala – Ash from Epping Forest is on the case

Is it normal for foreigners to campaign in other countries? I only ask, says Camilla Long in The Sunday Times, because Labour’s head of operations revealed last week that she was sending 100 activists to canvas for Kamala Harris in US swing states. How embarrassing. What is an overtired housewife in Virginia, say, or a Las Vegas stripper, going to make of “Ash from Epping Forest” with her bad haircut and donkey jacket, hammering on their door and bellowing about pussy-grabbing and Nicaragua? Will they take it kindly? As it happens, we already know the answer: no.

During the 2004 election, The Guardian organised a letter-writing campaign to persuade undecided voters in a crucial swing county in Ohio to back John Kerry over George W Bush. The paper asked ordinary readers to write, but also the likes of John le Carré (“Give us back the America we loved”) and Antonia Fraser (“O duty”). “You will die of cringe if you read them.” One typical response reads: “I hope your earholes turn into arseholes and shit on your shoulders.” Another Ohioan pointed out: “Americans don’t give two shits what Europeans think of us.” And fair enough. How would we feel if a bunch of Hungarians, say, turned up at our next election door-knocking for Reform? Besides, this is “appalling, dumb diplomacy” by the new Labour government. What if Donald Trump wins? John Major had to formally apologise to Bill Clinton in 1992 after two of his team advised George HW Bush to attack Clinton’s personality. Americans want “hobbits and royals and Shakespeare”, not rubbish “we can fix you” politics from a country that’s “tobogganing at light speed down the G7”. Labour activists cosplaying The West Wing should get a life.

Wrecked cars that would be too expensive to repair and resell in the US are often exported to countries where it’s cheaper to fix them up, says BBC News. One prime location is Georgia, which has become a major importer of write-offs, particularly since the Russian invasion of Ukraine. The suspicion is canny mechanics are then exporting fixed-up cars to neighbouring countries which then sell them on to Russia – thus circumventing sanctions on American cars being sold to Russians. Before the war, Georgia exported, on average, 7,352 used cars to Kazakhstan. In 2023, it was a whopping 39,896.

Private equity firms are pulling money out of investments that could be affected by the Ozempic boom, says Axios. The logic is simple: if the weight-loss drug becomes as widespread as many predict, profits will get squeezed in all sorts of industries that rely on human frailty and craving. That doesn’t just include unhealthy snack makers, but also alcohol producers, restaurant chains and even gyms.

Europe needs to be ready for Trump

It’s no exaggeration to say that the fate of Ukraine hangs on the outcome of the US presidential election, says Sylvie Kauffmann in Le Monde. Donald Trump has long boasted that he would end the war “within 24 hours” of being re-elected. He and Vladimir Putin “speak regularly on the phone”, and of course Ukraine’s defence relies almost entirely on American largesse. Trump’s running mate JD Vance proposes a scenario that demands the future “neutrality” of whatever’s left of Ukraine, making it impossible for Kyiv to join any Western alliance – one of Russia’s key demands. For Ukraine, any Trump-led peace talks would really be “defeat negotiations”.

But let’s be clear: “Ukraine’s defeat would also be Europe’s”. Imagine the consequences of a Russian victory in the “war of conquest” it has been waging for a decade against a neighbour whose “own separate destiny” it flatly denies. Such a victory of “might over right”, and of revisionism over the European order, would make life far scarier not just for those like Moldova and Georgia, who can already feel Putin’s breath on their necks, but for the whole continent. With its expansionist tendency validated, who seriously thinks Russia would stop for long at whatever line is drawn through Ukraine? Poland, Finland and the Baltic states are all proud Nato members, yet, with the prospect of American withdrawal, “worried ones”. Staggeringly, “Europeans don’t have a plan”. The continent remains divided into those who recognise the threat as “existential”, and those – such as Hungary’s Viktor Orbán and probably Italy’s Giorgia Meloni – who would be willing, in the name of an illusory “peace”, to accept this fool’s bargain. Europe has two weeks to prepare. Better get busy.

Shoplifting goes staggeringly under-reported, says Dave Pell on Substack. In one study from 2001, criminologists spent a year monitoring CCTV footage from a popular chain chemist in the US city of Atlanta. They counted around 20,000 incidents of theft in that one store alone – compared with only around 25,000 shoplifting cases reported to the police across the entire city that year.

For all its progressive posturing, the Labour party has still only ever been led by white men, says Robert Shrimsley in the FT. The Conservatives meanwhile have notched up three female prime ministers and the first British Indian and Hindu leader in Rishi Sunak. They can also claim the first Jewish premier and chancellor, first woman MP, first black foreign secretary and first Muslim chancellor and home secretary. It all underscores an often-overlooked Tory theme: “British (and Conservative) multicultural success.”

It’s the King’s new state carriage, says The Daily Telegraph. The latest royal ride has been under construction in Sydney for the past six years, and is expected to be completed by the end of 2024. Its master craftsman, 74-year-old Jim Frecklington, says he has gone to great lengths to turn the 3.7-tonne whip into a “time capsule”. Features include Rolls-Royce-inspired red hubcaps, a gold leaf crown made from 1,000-year-old timber donated by Westminster Abbey, and door handles taken from Sydney Opera House. There are some modern touches, too: hydraulic stabilisers and electric windows.